This was me today when I was coming from from a day of work . . .
Is there NO better way to come home than to take I-95? The Phillies game just got out and I haven’t even gotten out of the city, things are so crowded. There must be a good shortcut, there must be!
A voice thunders from above:
Ah, sweet, sad R, you have no idea what you are up against. Hear me now and go to I-95, go DIRECTLY to I-95. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. It behooves you to follow my advice. Anyone who rejects I-95 will go into great peril.
Me: Ah traffic gods, how you mock me. I’ll show you! I will take an alternate route. Give me the Passyunks, the Bartrams, the Penrose Avenues, the Routes 291s and 13s, and I will conquer them all. Give me red traffic lights and slow cars in front of me. I will show you how I can beat the tyrannical I-95.
Traffic Gods: Muuahahhahahahahaaaaaaa
. . . . .time passed . . .
2 hours later. I humbly admit defeat.
There is no way home except for I-95. I repeat. There is NO way home except for I-95. Any other way will stress you out and make you lose all your hair, and it probably won’t get you home any faster.